OK Google

(driving)

Me: “Hey kids, listen to what my phone can do without me even touching it”

(clears throat)

Me: “OK Google, play funk music.”

(Google Assistant plays funk music)

Danger Monkey, age 11: “What else can it do?”

Me: “I don’t know. Let’s see. OK Google, play monkey noises.”

(Google plays monkey noises)

Little Miss Thing, age 8: “Hey Google! Do a dance!”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t think…”

DM: “Google, play fart noises!”

LMT: “Google, jump out the window!”

DM: “Google, access Dad’s bank account!”

Me: “Hey now…”

LMT: “Google, take control of the car and drive us to ice cream!”

DM: “Google, transfer $100 from Dad’s checking account and mail it to me!”

Me: “And… we’re done.”

(turns off phone)

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