Daddy First

Wonderful Wife: “Kids, we’re all going to bed. Everyone go to the bathroom right now.”

Danger Monkey, age 8: “I don’t have to go yet.”

Little Miss Thing: “I don’t want to.”

WW: “OK, then Daddy will go first.”

Kids, running: “We’ll go now!”

#ParentingWin

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Recipe

Me: “What did you do at camp today?”

Little Miss Thing, age 5: “We made ice cream.”

Me: “Very cool. How did you make it? With cream and sugar?”

LMT: “No, I made it with… a door knob… and a crushed up car… and an old stop sign… and chocolate syrup.”

Me: “Wow… I didn’t know that’s how ice cream was made. Did you stir it?”

LMT: “No. I put gas on it and lit a match and it went BOOM!”

Me: “I had no idea it worked like that.”

LMT: “It’s Chemistry.”