Gender Neutral

Chinese buffet hostess: “Just two tonight? And how old is your daughter?”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “I’m nine… and, if it matters, I’m a boy.”

Hostess: “Oh, I am so sorry!”

DM: “It’s OK. Is it the same price?”

Hostess: “What?”

DM: “Do you charge the same price for boys and girls?”

Hostess: “Oh, of course.”

DM: “Then it doesn’t matter if you write down boy or girl.”

Hostess: “I guess not.”

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Foodie

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Show me a picture of me on your phone.”

Me: “Here, I’ve got Instagram open so let’s just look at my feed.”

LMT: “Why are there so many pictures of food?”

Me: “That’s just what I post.”

LMT: “You think about food too much.”

Hola

If you force me to take a “quiz” on your site before I can view your content, and especially if that quiz is blatantly asking me for my demographics for your crappy marketing, then you are GUARANTEED I am gong to lie in my answers. This morning so far I’m a Latino Millionaire with 2 PhDs and 13+ children.