Chinese buffet hostess: “Just two tonight? And how old is your daughter?”
Danger Monkey, age 9: “I’m nine… and, if it matters, I’m a boy.”
Hostess: “Oh, I am so sorry!”
DM: “It’s OK. Is it the same price?”
Hostess: “What?”
DM: “Do you charge the same price for boys and girls?”
Hostess: “Oh, of course.”
DM: “Then it doesn’t matter if you write down boy or girl.”
Hostess: “I guess not.”
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Show me a picture of me on your phone.”
Me: “Here, I’ve got Instagram open so let’s just look at my feed.”
LMT: “Why are there so many pictures of food?”
Me: “That’s just what I post.”
LMT: “You think about food too much.”
If you force me to take a “quiz” on your site before I can view your content, and especially if that quiz is blatantly asking me for my demographics for your crappy marketing, then you are GUARANTEED I am gong to lie in my answers. This morning so far I’m a Latino Millionaire with 2 PhDs and 13+ children.
Very Vocal Viking 