Ltitle Miss Thing, age 6: “Mom, he’s not doing dishes right.”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “Well, she’s not doing her fair share.”

Wonderful Wife: “Guys, can we be more positive, please?”

DM: “I’m positive she’s not doing her fair share.”

LMT: “I’m positive you stink.”


Count It Out

Parenting is standing at the front door during a night storm, tiny scared girl on your hip, calmly teaching her to count the gap between the lightning and the thunder, just like your dad taught you a million years ago. The hardest part is pretending you’re not still a little afraid of the lightning yourself.