That’s Fair

(at the county fair)

Me: “OK, I told you we could see the rabbits before we go home. Here are the rabbits.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: (squee) “They are so cute!”

Me: “Yes. Very cute.”

LMT: (incoherent giggly talking to rabbit noises)

LMT: “Daddy, do you think these rabbits are pettable?”

Me: “No, Honey. We can’t pet the rabbits.”

LMT: (pets rabbit)

LMT: “Nope. You were wrong.”


I’ll Take a Shot

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Why are we taking down all our glasses?”

Me: “Mom’s renovating the kitchen counter tops, so we need to move all the stuff out of here.”

LMT: “Why?”

Me: “So all our stuff doesn’t get dusty.”

LMT: “What are those?’

Me: “Wine glasses.”

LMT: “What are they for?”

Me: “Drinking wine.”

LMT: “Why are they so round?”

Me: “Well, I’m not totally sure, but I read once that the curved shape allows the smell to concentrate, which helps it taste better while you drink it slowly and savor it.”

LMT: “What are those?”

Me: “Champagne flutes.”

LMT: “Why are they so long and straight?”

Me: “I don’t know. Maybe because champagne is bubbly and you tend to just drink small amounts.”

LMT: “What are those?”

Me: “What? Oh, these are shot glasses.”

LMT: “What are those for?”

Me: (long pause)

Me: “These are for when you’re only going to drink a tiny bit because you know it’s not healthy to drink too much alcohol.”

LMT: “I like those. I want to drink out of those.”

Me: “Not ’til college.”



In Her Nature

Me: “What’s wrong kiddo? Why aren’t you in bed?”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I HATE lightning storms!” (shakes fist)

(lightning crashes)

LMT: (eyes wide) “That lightning happened right when I punched. Did I make it happen?”

Me: “I don’t think that was you.”

LMT: (furiously shaking fist)

(no lightning)

LMT: “OK, I checked. I guess I’m not Mother Nature.”