You can’t take the sky from me

Dear Internet,

If I win the Powerball jackpot tonight…

I will bring back Firefly.

Sincerely,

Me

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Napalm, please

I swear — I SWEAR — I pushed the “reheat” button on the microwave.

But apparently, I pushed a different button labelled “Please turn my quesadilla into hot napalm death”.