A Viking Cooks: Porkapalooza

Today I’m making my favorite pork recipe, which I call Porkapalooza:

1) Boil up a delicious brine (see below)

2) Add a platter of yummy pork chops to brine.

3) Ignore for four hours

4) Grill pork chops, brushing with olive oil as they finish.

5) Boil brats in the leftover brine, then grill just to brown and crisp.

6) Try to avoid developing Gout.


1 bottle dark beer of your choice (Honey Brown is delightful)
6-8 cloves of garlic, minced
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tbs molasses
Red Pepper Flakes to taste
3/4 cup kosher salt

Heat all the above, stirring, until just begins to boil.
Take off heat.
Stir in ice until liquid is room-temperature-ish.


Be Prepared

(The boy climbs into the car)

Me: “We’re just going into town to pick up some things. Why did you run back into the house?”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “I almost forgot my dice. I have a special pocket in my fleece just for my dice bag and some pencils in case anyone ever wants to play D&D.”

Me: … (sniff)

DM: “Daddy, are you crying?”


Me: “How is that pizza place still in business?”

My Oldest, age 15: “Well, I like it.”

Me: “No, seriously, it’s horrible. Unless you enjoy eating overly garlicked grease drizzled over stale doughy crust.”

Oldest: “Exactly. It’s delicious.”

Me: “Consider yourself disowned.”

Oldest: “Maybe my new family will have better taste in pizza.”