Health Guru

Guacamole TOTALLY counts as a serving of vegetables. Likewise, salsa is also TOTALLY a serving of vegetables. I’ve been eating healthy all this time and didn’t know it. #HealthGuru #NeedToWriteAHealthBook

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Stahp

Me: “Stop flopping your hair all over the place.”

My Oldest, age 14: “My hair does not flop. It whips.”

Me: “Can I see it Whip?”

Oldest: “Ugh. Seriously?”

Me: “Does it also Nae Nae?”

Oldest: “Stop. How do you even know this song?”

Me: “Show me your Stanky Leg.”

Oldest: “For the love of God, please stop.”