(at dinner)

Me: “OK, kids. I’m going up to pay the bill. Make sure you behave while I’m away.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “What exactly do you mean by BEHAVE?”

Me: “Oh, you know. Be quiet and respectful. Don’t yell bad words or have a fistfight. Don’t juggle bowling balls.”

LMT: “Does that include setting fires?”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Yeah – you didn’t mention not juggling FLAMING bowling balls.”

LMT: “You didn’t say to not run away and join the circus.”

DM: “You didn’t say we can’t break up the furniture and make bows and arrows out of it.”

LMT: “You didn’t say to not turn off all the restaurant lights and yell POWER OUTAGE!”

DM: “You didn’t say to not run across other people’s food.”

Me: “On second thought, maybe you two should just come with me.”