Drawn Out

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Daddy, I just drew a portrait of Mama from my notepad. Do you want me to draw you, too?”

Me: “Of course! That sounds delightful.”

(perches on couch, staring at me)

(pencil scratching noises)

LMT: “No, that’s no good. It doesn’t even look like you.”

(crumples paper, throws on floor)

(pencil scratching noises)

LMT: “Nope. I hate this one.”

(crumples paper, throws on floor)

(pencil scratching noises)

LMT: “Here you go! Looks just like you!”

(hands me drawing)

Me: “Awww, honey that’s perfect. It looks just like me.”

LMT: “You can have it. Hang it up wherever you want.”

Me: “Thanks.”



Situation Normal

(at school picnic)

Wonderful Wife: “It’s been about half an hour since they checked in. Can you see our kids?”

Me: “Lemme look.”

(stands up, scans large field of active children)

WW: “And?”

Me: “Yes, I can see them. They’re good.”

WW: “What are they doing?”

Me: “He’s with a group of his friends and it looks like they’re daring each other to eat dirt. She’s chasing some older boys and throwing mulch at them.”

(long pause)

WW: “Sounds about right.”

Me: “Situation Normal.”

(sits back down)

Watered Down

Parenting is the proud realization that your 10 year old son is old enough to feed and water the dogs in the morning without supervision.

Parenting is also walking through the house an hour after the kids got on the bus and hearing the water still running in the bathtub with the dog water dish under it.

Oh well. Progress is progress.