Well Oiled

Me: “Man, I just love old country diners like this. I mean, look at the staff zipping around and sharing tasks. This place runs like a well-oiled machine.”

Wonderful Wife: “Well, there’s definitely enough grease to oil a machine.”

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Things I Get To Say, School Carnival Edition

Things I Get To Say, School Carnival Edition:

“No, licking off the icing and throwing away the cupcake is not ‘Low Carb’.”

“It’s pronounced BYOOT. There is no such place as BUTT Montana.”

“You can keep the balloons in your shirt, but you must stop yelling, ‘I’VE GOT BOOBS’.”