Balking

(watching ST:Voyager)

Me: “Hey, that’s Musetta Vander. I met her at Starbase Indy.”

Wonderful Wife: “Oh, yeah, she looks like that one woman who’s weird but everyone thinks is beautiful.”

Me: “That’s not enough info to… Oh, wait, you mean Fairuza Balk.”

WW: “Yeah, that’s her.”

(long pause)

Me: “So now I can read your mind.”

WW: “Careful what you wish for.”

Architecture Tips

Me: “OK, kids, we’re trying a new restaurant tonight.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I don’t like it.”

Me: “You don’t even know which restaurant yet.”

LMT: “I already know enough restaurants.”

Me: “Give it a chance. It’s an old school restaurant with solid comfort food. Look, here, we’re pulling up. Isn’t that a cool looking older building?”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “It would look a lot cooler if they had a Medieval Ballista mounted to the roof.”

Me: (long pause)

Me: “I can’t argue with that.”

It’s A Grey Area

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Daddy, why do you have white hairs in your beard?”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “He has them in his hair, too. See… there, and there, and there. All over.”

LMT: “They’re kind of silver. How did they get there?”

Me: “They’re called grey hairs. It just happens naturally as we get older. Almost everyone over 40 has some grey hair.”

DM: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, really.”

DM: “So… I’ll get grey hair when I’m old?”

Me: “Yup. It’s totally natural and nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I kind of like my grey hair.”

LMT: “Everybody?”

Me: “Yup.”

LMT: “Wait a minute… Mom doesn’t have any grey hair.”

Me: (long pause)

Me: “Nope, she sure doesn’t.”