Me: “How was your sleepover?”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “It was great. I painted dolphins.”
Me: “Cool. You get to choose where we eat dinner tonight.”
LMT: “Hmm… how about Buccetto’s?”
Me: “Sounds good. Why Bucetto’s?”
LMT: “Because it sounds like Butt-Chews-Toes.”
Me: …
Me: “Welcome home, kiddo. I missed you.”
Me: “Let’s get junk food. How about… twinkies.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “How about something a little healthier?”
Me: “Healthier than twinkies? That’s almost anything. Can you think of anything LESS healthy than twinkies?”
DM: “Um… gravel?”
Me: “Trash.”
DM: “A flaming sword.”
Me: “OK, so let’s compromise and get… cookies.”
DM: “How about apples?”
Me: “What?”
DM: “Maybe some kale?”
Me: …
Me: “You are no longer my son.”
DM: “Yay! Now you can’t give me chores!”
Waitress: “OK, sounds good. Now, with that breakfast you get a choice of toast or two pancakes.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “Does anyone really ever choose toast?”
Waitress: “It happens. But you gotta wonder about those people.”
Very Vocal Viking 