Down with Pants

Me: “Is your room clean yet?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Yes.”
Me: “Good. I’ll go inspect it.”
(long pause)
DM: “No. It’s not ready yet.”
Me: “OK. But why not? It’s been a while since you went up there.”
DM: “Because… my pants.”
(long pause)
Me: “Your pants.”
DM: “Yes, my pants.”
(long pause)
Me: “I don’t get the connection. Help me out here.”
DM: “These are my heaviest pants. They are really slowing me down.”
(long pause)
ME: “OK, first, I have to tell you I think you’re making that up as an excuse because you were playing around instead of cleaning. But, just in case it’s an actual issue, let’s address this. I feel comfortable saying that if your pants or any article of clothing is keeping you from cleaning your room, you should change your clothes. If needed, you can even clean your room naked.”
DM: “You’re no fair!” (storms off)
(long pause)
Me: “Tweenager.”

Booking It

Big News…

(drum roll)


I’ve compiled about 200 pages of my writings into a manuscript. Many of the pieces have appeared on this blog, but much of it is brand new and only available in the book.

It’s a lot of the same kind of stuff, plus a really silly story about that time in college when we made a giant fireball.

The title is How to Raise Viking Children and Other Tales of Woe. I’m thinking it will be $12.95 and should be available on Amazon by Thanksgiving. It will make a great stocking stuffer – just sayin’.

And for those of you who attend local gaming and sci-fi conventions, I plan to debut my book at my author table at Starbase Indy this Thanksgiving weekend. It’s going to be a great time and I’ll be signing books and I’m sure to have a show-only special low price. Plus, you know, hugs.

The process of self-publishing a book has been really eye-opening for me. It seemed so simple but it’s been a real obstacle course. I’ll be sharing more details on my blog of the whole adventure in the coming days and weeks.

My favorite part so far is my pop-up banner for my author booth that just arrived today, so I thought I’d show it off…


I’m so excited! This is one of my longest held dreams, a total bucket list check-off.

Thank you all for the amazing support and encouragement!