Worst EVAR

So we’ve walked on the moon, and the Internet puts all the world at our fingertips, and credit cards now have more on-board memory than my first computer did.

Yet, my printer won’t print a black and white document because it’s out of yellow ink?


Clean Plate

(Eating at a BBQ restaurant)

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Can we go now?”

Me: “I’m almost done.”

LMT: “You don’t have to eat all of it, you know.”

Me: “Yes… yes I do.”


Danger Monkey, age 9: “I don’t like tofu.”

Me: “You love edamame, and tofu is just edamame that’s been mushed up into bars. Plus there are peanuts and peppers and broccoli… you won’t even notice the tofu.”

DM: “I guess I’ll try it.”


Me: “Well, you’re eating it pretty fast. What’s your favorite part?”

DM: “The tofu.”