FOR SALE: Eleven year old boy, cheap.

Full disclosure – he sings all day about farts and snot. He fights constantly with his sister and tracks in mud. His room looks like a tornado just hit.

Also, he’s very geeky. He loves gaming, dressing like an elf, and digging holes out in the woods for hours.

But he can also be quite charming. And kind, I guess, sometimes. He’s industrious, wicked smart, and incredibly loyal.

Very snuggly.

Beautiful.

Brave.

Nevermind. He’s not for sale.