FOR SALE: Eleven year old boy, cheap.
Full disclosure – he sings all day about farts and snot. He fights constantly with his sister and tracks in mud. His room looks like a tornado just hit.
Also, he’s very geeky. He loves gaming, dressing like an elf, and digging holes out in the woods for hours.
But he can also be quite charming. And kind, I guess, sometimes. He’s industrious, wicked smart, and incredibly loyal.
Nevermind. He’s not for sale.
Me: “How was your role playing game?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Awesome! In the game I built a giant robot that’s 45 stories tall and I can make it do anything from the control room in his head.”
Me: “Cool. How do you get to a control room that’s 45 stories up?”
DM: “It has stairs inside.”
Me: “Wow! What a climb.”
DM: “It’s OK. I installed a lemonade stand about half way up.”
Me: “That’s — very creative.”
DM: “It also serves hot chocolate and Caprese salad.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “You’re a pretty amazing guy, you know?”
DM: “Yeah, I know.”
It has begun.
The boy bought his Magic the Gathering starter kit.
The best news of all is now he won’t ever have any money to buy drugs.