Me: “I hate going to bed sick.”

Wonderful Wife: “Here, have some NyQuil Severe.”

Me: (slurp)

Me: “Aaack! It burns so much going down! Did it finally happen? Did you just poison me for the insurance money?”

WW: “No. If I ever poison you, I’ll choose poison that makes you die quietly without complaining so much.”

Me: “Good to know.”