Cashier: “Do you want a bag for this?”

Me: “No, thank you. It’s just trail mix and Gatorade. I can handle it.”

Cashier: “Do you want a receipt?”

Me: “No thanks.”

Cashier: (starts bagging my stuff)

Me: “Uh, no thanks. I don’t want a bag.”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “You asked me like 12 seconds ago and I said no bag, please.”

Cashier: “Wow. Ok, no bag. Wow.”

Cashier: (removes items from plastic bag)

Me: “Thanks.”

Cashier: (holds out receipt)

Me: …

Me: (grabs items and runs)