Cashed Out

Cashier: “Do you want a bag for this?”

Me: “No, thank you. It’s just trail mix and Gatorade. I can handle it.”

Cashier: “Do you want a receipt?”

Me: “No thanks.”

Cashier: (starts bagging my stuff)

Me: “Uh, no thanks. I don’t want a bag.”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “You asked me like 12 seconds ago and I said no bag, please.”

Cashier: “Wow. Ok, no bag. Wow.”

Cashier: (removes items from plastic bag)

Me: “Thanks.”

Cashier: (holds out receipt)

Me: …

Me: (grabs items and runs)

Death Metal Grocery

Mid-Fifties grocery cashier lady: “What is Chaotic Neutral?”

Me: “Huh? Oh, my shirt. It’s just a gaming terminology joke.”

Her: “Sounds like a death metal band.”

Me: “Yes, it really does.”

Her: “I like death metal. Last night it was Goatwhore. And alcohol. It always starts with alcohol.”

Me: “Not the conversation I expected to have at Kroger.”

Her: “I get that a lot.”

Me: “I’m not complaining.”

Nice Holiday Spirit, Lady

I just got serious attitude from the little old lady cashier for accidentally getting in an express lane with 22 items instead of 15.

Well excuuuuuuuse me, Sandra at Marsh.

How about a little holiday spirit? Sheesh.

I think someone needs to be the bigger person and remember the true reason for the season. A polite society depends on people to rise above and forgive each other for little things.

Also, I keyed your car on my way out.

Merry Xmas.