Me: “Hey, wanna go out for dinner tonight?”

Wonderful Wife: “I really don’t feel well. I have a horrible headache and the lymph nodes in my neck are swollen.”

Me: (typing on my phone)

Me: “I looked up your symptoms. I’m afraid you only have a few hours to live.”

WW: (heads into kitchen)

Me: “What are you doing?”

WW: “Making pop tarts and chocolate Quik. If I’m dying, that’s how I want to go out.”