Gate Attendant, looking down at computer terminal: “Yes?”

Me: “I was just wondering… I know you’re busy, but if it’s not too much trouble… I’m in 21B, and row 21 is full… but it looks like row 24 has two open seats next to each other, so I was…”

GA: (still looking down) “Sir, we don’t change seat assignments at the gate.”

Me: “Well, I was just checking because…”

GA: (still looking down) “Sir. I can’t help you.”

(long pause)

Me: “I’m a REALLY big guy.”

GA: (looks up)

GA: (looks up farther)

GA: (slow blink)

GA: “Row 24, you say?”