Me: “Dinner time, kids!”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “Good, I’m really hungry!”

DM: (noisily devours two plates of food)

DM: “I drank all my milk, now can I have a glass of cider?”

Me: “You just ate your body weight in food. You literally ate more than I did. Where could you possibly put a glass of cider?”

DM: “It will pour into the cracks between the food.”

DM: (chugs large glass of cider)

DM: “Can I have some Halloween candy?”

Me: (wide eyed stare)

Me: “Sure, but not too much, OK?”

DM: “Yay!” (runs off)

Me: “He may be going through a growth spurt.”

Wonderful Wife: “Oh, do you think?”