Odd Piñata

Me: “Let’s have eggs for dinner.”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Yes! And refried beans. And hot sauce!”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I don’t like refried beans.”

Me: “OK, no refried beans.”

DM: “I call dibs on your refried beans.”

Me: “You can’t have hers. We’ll just make something else.”

DM: “But I called dibs on your beans.”

Me: “I’m going to dibs you upside the dibs.”

DM: “I called dibs on your dibs ad infin-AH-tum.”

(long pause)

Me: “That phrase is ‘ad infinitum’, and since when are you slinging Latin phrases at me?”

LMT: “It sounded like Odd Piñata to me.”

Me: “No, it’s ad infinitum, and it means something lasts forever.”

(long pause)

LMT: “Can I still have an Odd Piñata?”

Inspiration

Wonderful Wife: “What’s for dinner?”

Me: “I want to eat out, but I’m too tired to go anywhere. Let’s have food delivered.”

WW: “Sure thing. What do you want?”

Me: “I want food delivered.”

WW: “Yeah, but what type of food.”

Me: “I want the type of food that shows up in front of me.”

WW: “Anything?”

Me: “I’m too tired to even choose.”

WW: “Wow. Are you up to chewing it yourself?”

Me: “I’ll struggle through it.”

WW: “You’re a real inspiration to us all.”

Me: “You’re welcome.”