My Oldest, age 14: “And where are you two going tonight on your date?”

Me: “A party.”

Oldest: “Will there be alcohol?”

Me: “Yes.”

Oldest: “Have you made arrangements for a designated driver?”

Me: “Wait… Which one of us is the parent here? This is like good cop / bad cop or something.”

Oldest: “You seem to be avoiding that last question.”

Me: (pause) “Yes, I will not drink so I can drive us home.”

Oldest: “Good. You may leave now.”