Drink Up

I don’t always buy drinking horns, but when I do they’re hand carved by actual heathens. #GenCon2016

Drinking Horn

Good Choices

My Oldest, age 14: “And where are you two going tonight on your date?”

Me: “A party.”

Oldest: “Will there be alcohol?”

Me: “Yes.”

Oldest: “Have you made arrangements for a designated driver?”

Me: “Wait… Which one of us is the parent here? This is like good cop / bad cop or something.”

Oldest: “You seem to be avoiding that last question.”

Me: (pause) “Yes, I will not drink so I can drive us home.”

Oldest: “Good. You may leave now.”

Bar None

Dinner with My Oldest, age 13.

Olive Garden Hostess: “Would you two like to wait for a table or just sit in the bar?”

Me: “Uh… How old do you think she is?”

Hostess: (horrified stare)

Me: “She’s 13.”

Hostess: “Oh my god! Really? I’m so sorry.”

Oldest: “It’s OK.”

Me: “No. No, it is not.”