(holding can of spray cheese)
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Why does this say Cheese Snack instead of just cheese?”
Me: “Because it’s not cheese. It’s just cheap oil that’s whipped into goo, and it’s so full of chemicals that the government won’t let them call it cheese.”
LMT: “These chemicals are delicious! I want this every day.”
Wonderful Wife: “What do you want for Xmas?”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Gymnastics sheets for my bed.”
WW: “I don’t know if those exist.”
LMT: “You can get on Google and find them.”
WW: …
LMT: “You can use your phone right now.”
WW: (glares at me)
Me: “She’s not wrong.”
WW: “You did this to me.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Can I learn how to unlock your car?”
Me: “Sure, kiddo. Here’s the key.”
LMT: “How do I unlock everything at once?”
Me: “No, I bought this one used and it doesn’t work that way. The guy showed me how to unlock the driver door, then reach inside to manually push the unlock button.”
LMT: “I think you turn it and hold it.” (turns key and holds)
Me: “No, don’t hold it turned like that. You need to…
Car: <click>
(all locks on car pop unlocked)
Me: …
LMT: “Told you.”
Me: (slow blink)
Moral of the story: Keep learning.
And don’t question LMT.
Very Vocal Viking 