Me: “Pardon me, ma’am. Are gown and mask coverings still required to visit patients on this floor?”

Nurse: (without looking up) “Yes, but I can get them for you.”

Me: “Thanks. I need the largest gown and mask you have available.”

Nurse: “Oh, don’t worry, they’re one-size-fits all. They really are quite lar…”

Nurse: (finally looks up at me)

Nurse: “Oh, my. Well, let’s call these one-size-fits MOST.”