My Oldest, Age 15: (climbing into car) “What took you so long? I almost froze to death.”

Me: “Sorry. But, let’s be clear, I was only five minutes late.”

Oldest: “Except it’s February and now I have frostbite.”

Me: “Well, you would have been fine if you had a sweater or coat on.”

Oldest: “Yeah, like that’s my fault.”

Me: …