Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Daddy, guess what I did at school today.”

Me: “Learned to fly?”

LMT: “Incorrect. Minus five points from Griffyndor.”

Me: “Wait. What…?”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “I think I’m Ravenclaw. If Daddy is Griffyndor, what are you?”

LMT: “I’m a dog, so I’m in… DoggyTime.”

DM: “There’s no House called Doggytime at Hogwarts!”

LMT: “You’re not a dog, so we can’t tell you about it.”