Me: “Look, kids. The hotel lobby has ice water with cucumber in it. See the little green slices.”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “No thanks. I hate cucumbers.”

Me: “Well, I’m only assuming it’s cucumber. It could be slices of dead snakes.”

DM: “That’s completely disgusting.”

(pause)

DM: “I wanna try it.”

DM: (long drink)

DM: “Disgusting.”

DM: “Can I have some more?”