Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I said I wanted scrambled eggs. I hate fried eggs.”
Me: “Well, they’re basically the same thing, I just stirred them less.”
LMT: “No, I hate them.”
Me: “Here. You only have to eat one.”
(pokes with fork)
(tiny bite)
(snarfs the rest in one bite)
LMT: “I want more. Those are really good!”
Me: …
Me: “OK, kids, we’re trying a new restaurant tonight.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I don’t like it.”
Me: “You don’t even know which restaurant yet.”
LMT: “I already know enough restaurants.”
Me: “Give it a chance. It’s an old school restaurant with solid comfort food. Look, here, we’re pulling up. Isn’t that a cool looking older building?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “It would look a lot cooler if they had a Medieval Ballista mounted to the roof.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “I can’t argue with that.”
Me: “Look, kids. The hotel lobby has ice water with cucumber in it. See the little green slices.”
Danger Monkey, age 9: “No thanks. I hate cucumbers.”
Me: “Well, I’m only assuming it’s cucumber. It could be slices of dead snakes.”
DM: “That’s completely disgusting.”
(pause)
DM: “I wanna try it.”
DM: (long drink)
DM: “Disgusting.”
DM: “Can I have some more?”
Very Vocal Viking 