Me: “I should get you a t-shirt that says ‘I  ❤ Haters’.”

My Oldest, Age 14: “The word ‘Haters’ isn’t cool anymore, Dad.”

Me: “So you think I’m out of the loop?”

Oldest: “Look… you’re over forty and still on Facebook, Dad. You can’t even see the loop from where you are.”

Me: (long pause) “Yeah, OK, that’s valid.”