Little Miss Thing, age 5: “I like your new car. It’s cleaner than your old car.”

Me: “Maybe he didn’t have kids.”

LMT: “Are you going to wreck this one too?”

Me: “No, I want to keep it a long time. Maybe in ten years you can learn to drive using this car.”

LMT: “I already know how to drive. I can drive whenever I want.”

Me: (slow blink)

Wonderful Wife: “I’m going to start hiding our car keys.”