Things I Actually, Really Said:
“No, just because you can fit half an avocado into your mouth does not make it bite-sized.”
“Come downstairs right now and get your giant squid.”
“Being in a bad mood is not a valid justification for physical assault.”
“My pancreas is not a trampoline.”
“Sorry, you can’t be a dog when you grow up. Being a Veterinarian is probably as close as you can get.”
“No one in this family ever calls anyone by the wrong name, Reginald.” [Note: his name is not Reginald]
Me: “You are smart, and strong, and working hard in school, and that means you can do and be whatever you want when you grow up.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I’m going to be a veterinarian!”
Me: “Oh, good!”
LMT: “I’ll feed all the animals and pet them for about… probably two hours. Then I’ll go home and play with my friends.”
Me: “That sounds nice. I think you’ll make a good Vet. But you know, sometimes the animals are sick and need medicine, or even surgery.”
LMT: “Why?”
Me: “They get sick or hurt just like people do sometimes. And they need a Veterinarian to help them get better.”
(long pause)
LMT: “I’ll pay someone else to do that part.”
Me: “Sounds good.”
Shopping in toy aisle at Target.
Me: “What are you thinking of giving your little sister for Xmas?”
My Oldest, age 13: “It’s hard. I like the idea of getting her one of these future career dress-up kits that are popular now, but there’s no kit for ‘World Domination’. I guess I’ll just go with veterinarian.”
Very Vocal Viking 