Nothing But The Booth

(at small town festival, spot a Viking booth)

Me: “Oh, hey! I know The Asatru Community. I follow you guys on Facebook. I didn’t know you did info booths at events.”

Booth Guy: “This is our first one. We’re trying to let people know that we’re an international organization but we have lots of regional groups that hold events.”

Me: “That’s awesome! I love all the chatter from people all over the world about what it means to them to be Viking. In fact, I just got a cool tattoo…” (obligatory tattoo show)

Booth Folks: (obligatory oohs and ahhs)

Booth Guy: “So do you attend events?”

Me: “No, I’m not what you’d call a practicing Viking. Mostly I just make Viking references and I have a blog called Very Vocal Viking, but it’s mostly just crazy stuff my kids say.”

BG: “That sounds cool.  I’d read that.”

Me: “Yeah, and lately a lot of strangers have started just telling me flat out that they think I look like a Viking.”

BG: “Yeah, when I first saw you across the way, I said – that guy’s definitely a Viking.”

Me: “I guess I just have that look.”

BG: “You really do.”

Drawn Together

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Which pen works best?”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “This one.”

Me: “Works best for what?”

LMT: “Writing on my hand.”

Me: “What? No, gross. Don’t do that.”

LMT: “Why not?”

Me: “Uh, well… It looks messy. And, uh… it’s hard to get off. And it just looks bad.”

DM: “We can’t write on ourselves?”

Me: “No.”

LMT: “You mean like your GIANT TATTOO?”

Me: …

Me: …

Me: “OK, but no swear words.”

Car’s running

Me: “Now that I’m losing some weight, I think maybe I’ll start lifting weights again. If I got a little definition in my shoulders and arms, I’d consider some Viking tattoos.”

Wonderful Wife: “What kind of weights? I’ll go buy them right now.”

Me: “I’ll take that as supporting my goals.”

WW: “Let’s go now. Here’s my debit card.”