Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Which pen works best?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “This one.”
Me: “Works best for what?”
LMT: “Writing on my hand.”
Me: “What? No, gross. Don’t do that.”
LMT: “Why not?”
Me: “Uh, well… It looks messy. And, uh… it’s hard to get off. And it just looks bad.”
DM: “We can’t write on ourselves?”
Me: “No.”
LMT: “You mean like your GIANT TATTOO?”
Me: …
Me: …
Me: “OK, but no swear words.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “If you could be any animal with three super powers, what would you be?”
Me: “I would be a bear, with Flying, Invisibility, and… X-Ray Vision.”
My Oldest, age 15: “A flying invisible bear? You terrify me.”
Me: “Don’t forget the X-Ray Vision.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I would be that dog that has a bad word in it.”
Me: “What? Do you mean a Shih tzu?”
LMT: (giggling)
Wonderful Wife: “How was your day at school today, dear?”
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “The F-word.”
WW: (arched eyebrows) “Pardon me?”
LMT: “Fun!!!” (much giggling)
Very Vocal Viking 