Bad Dog

Danger Monkey, age 10: “If you could be any animal with three super powers, what would you be?”

Me: “I would be a bear, with Flying, Invisibility, and… X-Ray Vision.”

My Oldest, age 15: “A flying invisible bear? You terrify me.”

Me: “Don’t forget the X-Ray Vision.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I would be that dog that has a bad word in it.”

Me: “What? Do you mean a Shih tzu?”

LMT: (giggling)


Sippy Cider

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Can I have apple cider?”

Me: “Wouldn’t you rather have something more substantial? This is the only snack you’ll get before dinner.”

LMT: “I really really really want apple cider!”

Me: “OK, if it’s that important to you, sure. Have cider.”

LMT: (tiny drink) “I can’t drink this.”

Me: “Hey, that’s expensive cider!”

LMT: “I tasted germs.”

Me: “No one can taste germs.”

LMT: “I can. It’s my superpower.”

Me: “You have many amazing powers, but I don’t think that’s one.”

LMT: “It is! It really is.”

Me: “OK, sure. Go play. I’ll drink your cider.”

LMT: (runs off)

Me: (looks sideways at glass of cider) “I’m not drinking that.”

Hey, Flipper

Me: (through bathroom door) “Glad you’re enjoying your long bath. Time to wash your hair.”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “No, hair washing comes at the end.”

Me: “Yes. This is the end.”

DM: “It feels more like the middle.”

Me: “End.”

DM: “Now I’ll never know how long it takes to turn into a dolphin.”

Me: “There’s always tomorrow night.”