Me: (through bathroom door) “Glad you’re enjoying your long bath. Time to wash your hair.”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “No, hair washing comes at the end.”

Me: “Yes. This is the end.”

DM: “It feels more like the middle.”

Me: “End.”

DM: “Now I’ll never know how long it takes to turn into a dolphin.”

Me: “There’s always tomorrow night.”