Danger Monkey, age 6: “She’s not really asleep, Dad.”
Little Miss Thing, age 3,: (yelling) “I’M ASLEEP!”
Me: “You know, kiddo… As a general rule, people who scream ‘I’m asleep’ are not really asleep.”
LMT: (now whispering) “I’m asleep.”
Tag: Snappy Comebacks
And the father is…
Little Miss Thing, age 3: “I am going to push all my macaroni onto the table.”
The Wonderful Wife: “Why in the world would you do that?”
LMT: “I like to watch you clean.”
WW, glaring at me: “No one will ever need a paternity test to know that you made this child.”
Rural Royalty
My Oldest Daughter, 12: “Why is that store called Rural King?”
Wonderful Wife: “Because they sell the things that people buy when they live out in the country.”
MOG: “What, like harmonicas and cowboy boots?”
Me: “Yes. Harmonicas and cowboy boots. Also lassos and banjos.”
Very Vocal Viking 