Overslept

(school office 9:00 am)

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “You have to fill out a tardy slip for me.”

Me: “OK, I seem to remember that from last time.”

LMT: “You should check ‘Overslept’ for the reason.”

Me: “Sure.”

LMT: (loudly) “He overslept, not me. I was ready and made my own breakfast.”

School Secretary: “Good for you, kiddo.”

LMT: “I had to wake him up. I think he’s sick.”

Me: “She doesn’t need all the ugly details.”

School Secretary: “I’ve heard a lot worse than that.”

Me: “I bet you have.”

Medical Thing

My Oldest, age 15: “I’m so tired.”

Me: “You’re always tired.”

MO: “It’s a teenager thing. I have too much homework.”

Me: “It could be a medical thing.”

MO: “It’s not a medical thing.”

Me: “Try this… if you put your head down on the table right now, could you go to sleep?”

MO: “No, definitely not. Maybe. Yeah, probably. But it’s NOT medical.”

Me: “You should get tested for sleep apnea. I have a really bad case. It can be hereditary.”

MO: “It’s not medical! I’m just tired!”

Me: “You seem irritable. That’s a symptom.”

MO: “I hate you.”