Always C

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Could you drive any slower?”

Me: “It’s raining so hard that I can’t see the road. So, should we… A) Go slower, B) Go faster, or C) Hassle the driver?”

Oldest, age 15: “I think you’re looking for us to say A… but my gut is telling me C.”

Me: “Yes, actually, the answer is C. Ridiculing an authority figure is always the answer.”

Armageddon enough sleep

All piled in a hotel room in Chicago for family thing tomorrow, and tucking in the girls on the fold-out couch.

My Wonderful Wife: “Girls, you are not allowed to wake me up tomorrow morning until it is totally light outside.”

Little Miss Thing, age 5: “What about Daddy?”

Me: “You can wake me up if it gets really bright… As in the Earth is falling into the Sun.”

LMT: “I hope that doesn’t happen tomorrow.”

My Oldest, age 13: “Well, it’s more likely than Daddy waking up on his own.”

She wins

My Oldest, age 13: “Let’s play a game where we go around and each add one line to a story. I’ll start. There once was a beautiful princess with long flowing brown hair.”

Friend, 13: “One day, the princess met a beautiful prince, and they fell madly in love.”

Litlle Miss Thing, age 4: “And then someone farted inside a marshmallow.”

(pause)

Me: “Game over. She wins.”