Dinner Deafening

Me: (sticks head outside)

Me: “Kids!!! Dinner time!!!”

(silence)

Me: “Kids!!! Come inside for dinner!!!”

(silence)

Me: “Kids!!! It’s time for dinner!!!”

(silence)

(silence)

Me: (whispers) “It’s mac & cheese.”

Kids: (in the distance) “Woo-hoo!!! Mac & cheese!!!”

And the father is…

Little Miss Thing, age 3: “I am going to push all my macaroni onto the table.”

The Wonderful Wife: “Why in the world would you do that?”

LMT: “I like to watch you clean.”

WW, glaring at me: “No one will ever need a paternity test to know that you made this child.”