Crazy Hair Day

Me: “Is everyone ready for the bus? Oh my goodness, why is your hair so messy?”

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “It’s Crazy Hair Day at school today.”

Me: “Cool. Maybe I’ll do that for work today, too.”

LMT: “Every day is Crazy Hair and Crazy Beard Day for you.”

Me: (slow blink)

[I mean… she’s not wrong.]

Gender Neutral

Chinese buffet hostess: “Just two tonight? And how old is your daughter?”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “I’m nine… and, if it matters, I’m a boy.”

Hostess: “Oh, I am so sorry!”

DM: “It’s OK. Is it the same price?”

Hostess: “What?”

DM: “Do you charge the same price for boys and girls?”

Hostess: “Oh, of course.”

DM: “Then it doesn’t matter if you write down boy or girl.”

Hostess: “I guess not.”

Her life flashed before her eyes

Woman with young daughter sits at table behind me at lunch. The little girl is probably 4 years old.

Tiny Girl: “Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?”

Mom: (face pales) “Sir, I am so sorry. I am SO sorry.”

Me: “I’m a daddy, but I have really long hair.”

Mom: “Sir, I am so sorry. She didn’t mean it. I am SO sorry.”

TG: “I like your hair.”

Me: “Thank you. I like my hair, too.”

(we go back to eating)

Mom looks like she’s going to pass out.

NOTE: Lighten up, people. Everyone is different and kids have questions. Just answer them as directly as you can and move on.