Me: “Make sure you get some fruits and veggies in addition to the General Tso’s chicken. It’s a buffet but we still need to get fruits and veggies.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “I will. I just love General Tso’s.”
Me: “Yeah, I thought you’d grow out of it eventually, but you’re still loving it. I’m going to start calling you General Tso.”
DM: “What? Why?”
Me: “Because you are what you eat.” (snicker)
DM: “Really? Then why don’t we call you Everything?”
(driving)
(kids yelling)
(much yelling)
(so much yelling)
Me: “Kids! Too loud! That’s enough. No more yelling in the car. Never yell in the car.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “No yelling… ever?”
Me: “The only thing you’re allowed to yell is, ‘DAD IS COOL’.”
(long pause)
Danger Monkey, age 10: “In other words, no yelling.”
Me: (glaring in rearview mirror)
Me: “OK, kids. Lets have a little learning experience. I’ll give you a choice. We can all get milkshakes here at the restaurant and pay $20, or we can buy two big things of ice cream at a grocery store on the way home for $10 and eat ice cream every night all week.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “I vote for milkshakes here.”
Me: “Really? You’re usually the one who prefers getting a bargain.”
DM: “It’s not a bargain when I think you’ll eat all the ice cream at home.”
Me: (glaring)
My Oldest, age 16: “So, Dad, how are you enjoying your learning experience?”
Me: (glaring intensifies)
Very Vocal Viking 