Little Miss Thing, age 8: “You started it. You always start it!”
Danger Monkey, age 11: “No I don’t!”
Me: “OK, kids, cut it out. The only thing worse than arguing is arguing about arguing. Trust me, you have better things to do with your time.”
(long pause)
DM: “But now you are arguing about arguing about arguing.”
Me: …
LMT: “I told you he always starts it.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “So are you an author now? What about your other job?”
Me: “Yes, I’m an author and I published a book, but mostly I still do my regular job.”
DM: “Why?”
Me: “Well, it’s not that kind of book. It’s just for fun.”
DM: “You need to write another book. But this time, try harder.”
Me: …
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Your beef stew is delicious, but it has too many vegetables.”
Me: “Vegetables are part of the soup. It’s yummy. Eat up.”
DM: “This should be called Vegetable Soup with a tiny bit of beef.”
Me: “Actually, wiseguy, it’s got plenty of…”
DM: “I’m going to make Beef Stew that’s just one kernel of corn and the rest is beef and delicious broth.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “As your father I’m supposed to correct you, but I would totally eat that.”
Very Vocal Viking 