Little Miss Thing, age 8: “You started it. You always start it!”

Danger Monkey, age 11: “No I don’t!”

Me: “OK, kids, cut it out. The only thing worse than arguing is arguing about arguing. Trust me, you have better things to do with your time.”

(long pause)

DM: “But now you are arguing about arguing about arguing.”

Me: …

LMT: “I told you he always starts it.”