Me: “What two servings of veggie or fruit are you having with dinner? I’ll let you choose.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I’ll have carrots and ranch.”
Me: “And what else?”
LMT: “That’s two things.”
Me: “Ranch is not a veggie. Try again.”
LMT: “OK, then grape jelly. Grapes are fruit.”
Me: “Nope. Try again.”
LMT: “I want some… Coffee. It comes from beans.”
Me: “Absolutely not.”
LMT: “You never let me do what I want.”
Me: “Dinner time, kids!”
Danger Monkey, age 9: “Good, I’m really hungry!”
DM: (noisily devours two plates of food)
DM: “I drank all my milk, now can I have a glass of cider?”
Me: “You just ate your body weight in food. You literally ate more than I did. Where could you possibly put a glass of cider?”
DM: “It will pour into the cracks between the food.”
DM: (chugs large glass of cider)
DM: “Can I have some Halloween candy?”
Me: (wide eyed stare)
Me: “Sure, but not too much, OK?”
DM: “Yay!” (runs off)
Me: “He may be going through a growth spurt.”
Wonderful Wife: “Oh, do you think?”
Dinner at a restaunt.
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Looonge. Lunge. Loongey.”
Me: “What are you saying?”
LMT: “I’m reading that word on the wall. What is L-O-U-N-G-E?”
Wonderful Wife: “It’s the word Lounge. It’s a French word for You can’t go in there.”
Very Vocal Viking 