Parenting. Sigh.

Parenthood is holding your sobbing children as you tell them their cat died, and having a big family cry pile on the couch, and being strong for them as you help them plan a memorial service.

Parenthood is listening to them crying themselves to sleep upstairs and not running up to comfort them because we’d all just get upset again.

Parenthood is knowing it’s better to tell them the truth up front even though it hurts, and letting them face this head on now because you know it will help them be better prepared for real life.

Parenthood sucks sometimes.

Tastes Like Chicken Water

Me: “Look, kids. The hotel lobby has ice water with cucumber in it. See the little green slices.”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “No thanks. I hate cucumbers.”

Me: “Well, I’m only assuming it’s cucumber. It could be slices of dead snakes.”

DM: “That’s completely disgusting.”

(pause)

DM: “I wanna try it.”

DM: (long drink)

DM: “Disgusting.”

DM: “Can I have some more?”

Gen Con 2016

Me: “Hey kids, what has been your favorite part of Gen Con today? Playtesting the games that haven’t been published yet? Staying in the fancy hotel? All the costumes? All our cool crafting projects?”

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Riding the escalators.”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “Escalators.”

Me: “The… escalators?”

LMT: “Yes.”

DM: “Definitely the escalators.”

Me: “Those are very expensive escalator rides, I guess.”

LMT: “No, they’re free. I can do it all day.”