Danger Monkey, age 10: “Can I have more steak please?”
Me: “Well, we’re all splitting just one steak, so none of us are having very much.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I want more steak, too.”
Me: “You kids are making a Viking dad very proud.”
LMT: “No, I want a bigger piece than that. You need to buy more steak next time.”
DM: “Yeah, this is not enough steak.”
Me: “I think I’m going to tear up.”
Me: “I’m so proud that you kids are growing up and ordering full size entrées. It’s a big deal to move up from kids meals. It’s so cool to watch you mature into young adults with growing bodies and big appetites.”
(bill arrives for family of five)
Me: “Alright, back to kids meals next time.”
(at restaurant)
Tiny Boy, maybe age 3: “Mommy, he’s really tall! Look, Mommy! He’s really tall!”
Mommy: “Yes, he is. Now let’s concentrate on your food.”
TB: “He’s really tall. He’s really tall. Is he a giant? Is he a giant?”
Mommy: “I’m so sorry, sir.”
Me: “No, I’m not a giant. But when I was little, I ate lots of veggies and they made me extra big and strong. Do you eat vegetables?”
TB: (nods, eyes wide)
Me: “Good. Eat your veggies and you’ll grow up big and strong like me.”
TB: “I will.”
Very Vocal Viking 